


I wanna have your babies

by Lexiee



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Embedded Images, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Superfamily, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8299675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexiee/pseuds/Lexiee
Summary: "Why was he doing this again? Oh, yes, because of that guy. That crazy guy in the red suit. Slightly crazier guy in the red suit. A lot crazier. The one with the katanas. You know, the constantly talking one! 
So, yeah... That guy."
 
Written for this prompt: Spidey is really attracted to Deadpool's muscles, so he’ll always act weak/like a damsel whenever DP is around. 
(Bonus pints if you add in the Avengers, who are just standing by like, “Wtf?”)
 
NOW with a follow-up chapter! 
 

  "Mr. Wilson..." Steve started, only to be cut off by the masked man. 


  "Wade, that's what my friends call me. Well, no, because I don't have any, but that's how they would call me, if I'd have any, you know. I mean of course you don't know, because you're Captain fucking America and all that-" and he would have gone on and on if it wasn't for Tony's outrageous shouting.


  "Did you just call my husband 'Captain fucking America'?!"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why was he doing this again? Oh, yes, because of that guy. That crazy guy in the red suit. Slightly crazier guy in the red suit. A lot crazier. The one with the katanas. You know, the constantly talking one! 

 

So, yeah... That guy. 

 

The guy Peter has the world's biggest crush on - not even joking here. Just a few days ago Gwen declared in front of their whole class that Peter wanted to have Wade's babies, which is yeah, fair enough, but Peter didn't want them just yet, only like, everything else. He didn't actually think his parents would let him marry Wade, considering that he was eighteen, but they could totally do it online, just, you know, not from a Jarvis controlled computer - maybe they will find an available one in Canada or something.

 

If you say he was in so deep, you wouldn't be that far off from the truth. 

So why was he doing it again?  
What is he doing, you're asking? 

 

Well, the whole idea came from Gwen (side note: Don't trust her to come near your love life) when according to her, Peter was pining (he really wasn't) and he should make his damn move already.   
He will never listen to Gwen ever again. She suggested (demanded) that Peter could (will) play the damsel in distress card whenever they team up, so Wade would be his fair-haired (or bald, y'know) saviour, and after they could just kiss on it.  
Yeah, right.

 

He felt ridiculous doing this whole show, it didn't even make sense! The first time it happened, Wade was just plain confused and asked if his Spidey powers were acting up. Even worse, he called his dads, and they didn't let him on patrol the next day, but instead he spent hours in a lab, when Tony manipulated Bruce into running a full mutant-body scan on Peter, not only messing up his evening plans, but Bruce's too. 

His parents didn't even like Wade! Why would they listen to him now? They have never done it before. His dad blocked Wade's number from all their mobile devices in the house, and they even banned Peter from seeing Wade.   
(Not like that stopped Peter, but still.)  
Just why?!

Kudos to overprotective superdads.  
(Thanks guys.)

He tried again the next day, and guess what? It didn't fucking work! Wade took him home after he has fallen from a building with no webs to catch him, and while it was really nice to feel his strong, muscular arms, it didn't get them anywhere. 

He was so frustrated after Wade has dropped him off, he screamed into his pillow only to have Jarvis notifying Steve on the issue (Tony was in his workshop), and not even a minute later, his pops stormed into his room with his Captain America shield.  
He ended up saying that he had a nightmare, because he wasn't ready to admit that he was so helplessly in love with Wade that he forgot about Jarvis - no one forgets about Jarvis. Not ever. 

God, he was really pathetic - the fact that his dad made him hot cocoa and stayed up with him all night didn't help in the slightest.  
(It did help, because he felt safe and loved, but he wasn't a kid anymore, he was eighteen and he won't ever say that out loud.) 

 

Why was it so complicated? It shouldn't be, right? A text would do the trick, right?

**Peter** :   
'Wanna go out with me?   
Yes   
No  
Maybe if it involves tacos and kicking some ass.' 

  
No, that wasn't good enough.  

****  
Peter:  
'I wanna have your babies Xx' 

Peter laughed and deleted the draft - no, wait! Was it supposed to say 'delivered' on his screen?  
(Shitshitshitshitshit)

 

 

 

Or maybe it wasn't that complicated after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I've gotten so many kind worded and positive reviews for the first chapter, I thought - why not write a follow-up?   
> Checked by the amazing obsidian_snowflake

"So, Wilson, you're telling me that you're dating our only son" stated Tony with a sharp edge to his words. It was just between his 'you're so grounded' and his 'you're so going down' voice - and you can trust Peter on this, he has heard both countless of times.

They were out for dinner, a week after he and Wade has got together, and he felt excited for the outcome.  
He managed to get Wade in a suit, but not to pull his mask off, but that was alright, he knew they would get there eventually. There was no need to rush.  
He also spent hours convincing both of his parents (together and separately) about meeting his boyfriend.

He succeeded to get to his Pops' heart by telling him how sweet Wade was, how he held every door for Peter, sent him nice texts each day numerous times and made sure he ate and drank enough water. To be fair, he has done the last two even before they've gotten together, but his Pops didn't need to know that. There would be too many questions and Peter wasn't sure he was ready to answer them all.

Once he had his Pops, he already knew that he'd won - Tony could never say no to Steve. It didn't matter what was it about, even though Tony would argue and glare at his husband, at the end of the discussion he'd always just say 'fine, Steve, but don't come to me when it all blows up in your face!'. Steve would, in fact, go to him if anything happened, and Tony would be right next to him to take care of the damage control. It was pretty much how they worked.

When Peter wanted to stop being home schooled and go to public school like the other kids from the playground? He went to Steve.

When Peter found a kitten in an alley and wanted to keep him? He went to Steve.

Or just a couple of years ago in school, when some guy roughed him up a little bit--  
No, actually that time he went to Tony, because maybe his Dad was overprotective, but he was nothing compared to Steve when someone hurt their family.

Did the guy get a little visit from Iron Man? He sure did, but a chat with some threatening was still a lot better than getting his nose broken by Captain America.

We can all agree on that, right?

  
So to ease things a little bit, Peter wanted to go to the restaurant the day before and find out who was going to work the next evening, to then proceed to talk to all of them - and bribe them into not giving any alcohol to his Dad. He went there, feeling sure it'd cost him at least his last two months of pocket money and an autograph from his Pops, only to find that his Pops has already taken care of everything.  
He even rented out a quiet corner to make their evening more discreet, private from other guests.

Finally all was set for the perfect meet-the-parents evening and Peter hoped it would go as smoothly as it was possible, because _fuck_ , Wade was everything he could ask for and everything he couldn't - he was brave, funny and he cared about Peter. Not about his money or his dads, but him - and he was sure his parents would see this by the end of this evening.

"What are your intentions toward our son?" Came the question from Tony after he finished staring at Wide quietly.

"My intentions?" Asked Wade like he was testing the word on his tongue. Maybe he was. This was the very first time he was in this situation, and under layers of fake confidence, while on the phone with Peter at 3 AM the day before, he confessed that.

"I wanna have his babies" he said loudly making Tony choke on his drink.

"Mr. Wilson..." Steve started, only to be cut off by the masked man.

"Wade, that's what my friends call me. Well, no, because I don't have any, but that's how they would call me, if I'd have any, you know. I mean of course you don't know, because you're Captain fucking America and all that-" and he would have gone on and on if it wasn't for Tony's outrageous shouting.

"Did you just call my husband 'Captain fucking America'?!"

"No?" Wade asked sounding genuinely confused and Peter felt so bad for him.  
God, if it was Yellow messing with Wade's head again, Peter was going to silent treatment their ass to the next fucking century.

"Listen, you little shit-"

"DAD!" Peter yelled, flushed in his shame. "I can't believe you right now!"

"I'm sorry, future father-in-law-"

"Fuck you, Wade Wilson!"

"You mean that literally? Because I'm 100% committed to Peter and there's that small incest problem with a threesome, you see, this author said no when I asked and-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Spit the words Tony and he looked so disgusted, Peter just couldn't take it anymore, he had to say something. Wade was hurting, he held onto Peter's hand under the table like his life depended on it, and Peter wasn't about to let this situation go out of control even more.

"What the fuck is wrong with YOU? Why do you have to do this? Why can't we just have a normal dinner, like a normal family once in our lives?"

"Because we're not some normal family and you won't be seeing this man while you're living under my roof!" Stood Tony up, obviously about to leave with Peter and Steve, but turned around when neither of the two were following him.

"You know what?!" Asked Peter with tears in his eyes. "Then I'll just move out!" He could, in theory. He was eighteen, he had a boyfriend he loved (and who also happened to own a new shiny apartment), so there was no reason for him to be this emotional about the issue. Kids move out of the family house all the time, right? So then why was he feeling like he was about to lose both of his parents now?

"You can't move out, I pay your college tuition!"  
"No, you don't! I have a scholarship, dad!"  
"I still pay for your books!"  
"I'll just get a job then!"

"I could pay for them" Wade suggested weakly, only to have them both shout at him in union.

"No!"  
"No way!" Peter quickly realised he made a mistake by shouting at Wade when he saw a dirty steak knife in his grip, ready to stab himself.

"Boys! That's enough! None of that" scolded them Steve. "Wade, put that down please. We finished arguing"

"You sure?" Wade asked lightly "Just because Tin Man over there looks like he's on second from tearing me a new one. HEY, pancakes!"  
"Yes, I'm sure" Steve said firmly to Wade, but his hard gaze lingered on his husband before looking at Peter. "You know we love you, son. Me and your dad are happy for you - even if it doesn't seem that way now. You've found someone who adores you the way you deserve it, but you need to understand that we're still your parents. We're concerned. How long have you said you two have been together?"

"A week" murmured Peter.

"Yeah, right..." muttered Tony under his nose, only to get the trademark disapproving Cap look from his right.

"The best fucking week of my life if you ask me" Wade exclaimed, and Steve smiled softly at him, making Wade stop in his obnoxious chewing. He had pancakes in front of him that was originally meant for another table before he stopped the waiter and grabbed the plate out of his manicured hands.

"Peter, we're just worried" Steve continued "You've only been together for a week and we're already meeting Wade and talking about you moving out, do you not feel like this is going a bit too fast? You do have a seven year age gap between the two of you, and we want to make sure you don't rush into things now you cannot handle later."

"I'm sorry... It's just that you guys are the most important thing in my life and I really wanted to share this with you. I promised I wouldn't keep any secrets from you after Spider-Man and... yeah. But guess you're right. I should have waited. Sorry Pops"

"Sorry Pops" repeated Wade and that made Peter beam at his boyfriend, even if Wade looked a bit spaced out, and Peter wasn't sure he was actually talking to them.  
"It's alright" laughed Steve, a bit uncomfortable, but he looked like he was willing to give them a chance. "Guess it will be me asking the questions tonight"

"What questions?" Asked Peter warily. He loved his Pops with all his heart, but he wasn't about to let him terrorise Wade - even if his methods were far better than his Dad's. He just started to voice some further worries of his when his Pops pulled out some notes (notes!) and looked at him.  
"I've never done this before, so I asked Jarvis to look up some questions for me that fathers usually ask when meeting their daughters boyfriend" he promptly ignored Peter's 'Hey!' and focused on Wade who had the knife in his hands again. "I crossed most of them out as I know them already from your folder but some things I need to hear from you. Is that alright?"

"Yeah. Yes, sir" Wade replied with strange determination in his voice that Peter wasn't used to. His heart swelled with pride. He loved this man even if he was tapping the rhythm of "Wheels on the bus" for the third time in under a minute on the table top with the steak knife he's been gripping for a while again.

"So where do you live now?" Steve asked gently after he cleared his throat. Peter looked back and forth between his parents and while Tony's lips were pressed into a thin line, he made no other disrespectful comments to Wade - once again he felt like he needed to thank his Pops for that.

"I just rented out a new apartment in central Manhattan. I wouldn't want to be far from my baby butter fingers. Hashtag _#goals_ " Wade finished his monologue with a big grin that almost split his face in half, but Steve didn't seem thrown off by it.  
"So did you just choose that location for your new home to be closer to Peter?" he asked with an unreadable face expression.  
"Hell, Peter _is_ the reason I got the new place. He made me realise I can't stay in that shit hole if he'll come over that often"

"Not _that_ often" exclaimed Tony loudly.

"Every day" bit back Peter, but he felt like it was a lost cause - his Dad was so hard headed sometimes (well, most of the time. all the time. whatever)  
"Once a week" raised his voice Tony, but damn it, Peter wasn't going to go down without a fight. He was just about to start their argument all over again, but it looked like his Pops wouldn't let them continue.

"How about we welcome Wade into our home? You can spend half of the time over at his place, and the other you'd just stay at home? We could have dinner together more often, I'd be nice to get to know Wade a bit better."

"Thanks, sir" Wade made a choked sound, and Peter was so happy he wanted to jump up and down like a kid and fist-bump into the air.

"Just call me Steve" his Pops told Wade with a small smile and Peter wanted to have a group hug with all of them - the only thing stopping him was his Dad, as he kept glaring at the server who still wouldn't give him any alcohol.  
Catching the waiters eye, Peter realised they'd probably have to stay a big longer and give them something in compensation.  
"I've got it" murmured Steve quietly, his arms wrapping around Tony's waist as they left with Steve looking back and saying goodnight to both of them.

Peter watched as the tension left Tony's shoulder when Steve touched him and started whispering in his ear. He kept looking until they walked out of the restaurant and thought that yeah, maybe his parents argue all the time about the smallest things, but it was obvious how much they loved each other. Not in spite of the bad things, but the whole package altogether.  
He really did have the best parents and wouldn't trade them for the world.

He glanced at Wade who looked right back at him, and took his hand as his boyfriend started talking obnoxiously loud again.  
For the first time in a long time, he felt complete.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? My very first Spideypool please be gentle.  
> I know i does say on the screenshots that UK, but only because I made them on my phone and I could not change my location. Thanks for reading to the end, and do not forget - COMMENTS ARE LOVE  
> Hang our with me on my tumblr sheflieswithherowndamnwings


End file.
